Gangster Squad

What do you get when you combine The Untouchables with a giant steaming pile of dog shite? That's right, you get Gangster Squad.

I'm only after watching this about 10 minutes ago and all I can say is that I've been robbed of 113 minutes of my life that I could have spent watching a pile of dog shit, as it would have been equally entertaining.

Some prick in the pub recommended this to me last night, "Good hangover material" I was told. You know what's good hangover material? Sleeping, and that's what I ended up doing for a fair whack of this bullshit.

The cast is made up of the boring as fuck, one dimensional Ryan Gosling, and a handful of other journeymen who were once decent, but now suck ass.

Example, Sean Penn, used to be good, now shite.. Giovanni Ribisi, showed potential back in the day, bit part man now. That Mexican buck from The Shield who's name I don't know, but was recently in that fucking god awful shite End of Watch is there as well.

Along with the them is the buck who played the T-1000 in Terminator 2 back in the day. Unfortunately the years haven't been kind to the T-1000, maybe he had a good lock of years on him when they made T2 but he's old a s fuck looking now.

Blast from the past the wrinkley T-1000 may be, but he's no where near as impressive a "previously famous character" as the leader of the fearless Gangster Squad. The main man and leader of the gang is none other than....... Brand from the Goonies!!

That's right, Brand who was Mikey's jock brother is the main man in this, he's a short tempered cunt who shoots first and asks questions later, bit of a bad ass. But not so fast Brand, I do recall when you weren't such a hard cunt, in fact, I distinctly remember you robbing a bike off some wee girl before being made a cock of by Troy in front of your bird.

Anyway, thats the only redeeming factor I could take from this movie, that Brand is still in the game and making movies. The story is the The Untouchables meets LA Story, except shite. Bad hoore Sean Penn runs the town and kills any fucker that gets in his way. The cops decide enough is enough and form a band of vigilantes to fuck up his business and take him down. The lads wreak havoc and go round smashing up Penn's different rackets. 

Just when it looks like the the cops are doing well, the wimpy one of the gang (Ribisi) gets killed, just as the four eyed wimpy account buck did in The Untouchables. That sets the rest of the gang off on a bloodthirsty revenge rampage, or some such shit..

Anyway, that's it, after Ribisi bit the bullet I fell asleep and didn't wake up till Brand was fighting Sean Penn in a Riggs vs Joshua style duke out from the end of Lethal Weapon. A fight which Brand won easily I might add, proving that Penn, for all his hard talk, turned out to be a pussy.

Sams Review 1/10, no, scrap that, 0/10. This was fucking shite and a total waste of time when I was suffering from a hangover and just looking for something to watch. Normally I'll watch any ould shite when I'm hungover to pass the time but this just pissed me off with its slick Hollywood production and cast of wankers. Gangster Squad? More like cunt squad if you ask me. 

To-da-loo!